SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
