I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
