at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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