I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
