Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
