Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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