I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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