i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
