what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
