Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
