There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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