I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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