that's an acceptable place to lick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
