so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
