That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
