Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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