your thong is hanging out like whoa
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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