It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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