Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize