It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
