Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
