dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
