You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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