All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
