Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bring money and cleavage
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
