Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
