One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
