I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
