Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
