Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
