I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
