the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
