i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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