My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
