i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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