Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
