The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish you could order shots online.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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