they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
