So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
