Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
