Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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