...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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