I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
