Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
