I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
