Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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