Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
