I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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