Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
