I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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